Long Time, No Listen: Episode X

Five more albums I haven't listened to in at least ten years. (Indeed, the first "contestant" is one that I'd completely forgotten about).

Thee Milkshakes - They Came They Saw They Conquered
Well whad'ya know, I was wrong! That album by Thee Headcoats wasn't the only Billy Childish artifact on my shelf. (I guess it's a good thing I've been doing this listening exercise.) Fifteen songs on this LP, only one of which breaks the three-minute mark. This disc doesn't careen with the excitement that Headcoatitude has, though. A few tracks, like "I'm Needing You," manage to stand out, but a lot of the songs here feel a bit restrained. I'm kind of on the fence about this one. I think maybe I'll take it to the radio station, to show off a couple of its key tracks on the air.

Mr. Mister - Welcome to the Real World
An album that I married into. I've continued to hear "Broken Wings" and "Kyrie" from time to time, since the mid-'80s, but I didn't remember ever listening to this album start to finish. Had I done so, sooner than this, the album would've been sentenced to the next available secondhand bin. Mr. Mister clearly is part of the second generation of fake-rock bands, along with Survivor, Night Ranger, Honeymoon Suite and quite a few other bands whose names I could type if I cared enough to think about it. The big glacial keyboards and the huge gated drums are sure signs of fakery, and the mostly inane lyrics don't help. (On the other hand, considering the parameters of fake-rock, they don't hurt either.) There are a few surprisingly gnarled guitar solos, and I must say, Richard Page has a better voice than most singers of this sort of music. Maybe that's why I never gave much thought to this album (or this band) much beyond those two singles, all these years: Page's vocals are mannered, but he doesn't make the goat-sodomizingly horrible sounds that used to get bleated forth by Dennis DeYoung, Steve Perry or Rodger Thompson.

Modern English - Stop Start
Another one I married into. I did already have two earlier Modern English LPs when I got married. I was tempted to listen to them first, before tackling this one, but I decided I should try more to consider this album on its own merits. No Wikipedia, no TP review, no nuthin'. Well, the production on Stop Start is pretty effin' busy; the drums are mixed waaayyy up front. A lot of the songs might have been served well by a somewhat lighter touch, but I suppose they must have been trying to get more "attention" by going for that heavier sound (cf. The Psychedelic Furs album Midnight to Midnight). As a result, it takes honest effort even to perceive whether the songs actually are any good. It takes work to hear them through the production itself. Honestly? I think this is worse than Midnight to Midnight. At least that album had one song ("Heartbreak Beat") that I've enjoyed hearing ever since. Yeah, nothing to see here, folks, just move on.

Mo-Dettes - The Story So Far
I picked this up from a used bin somewhere, being already familiar with their single "White Mice" from a Rhino compilation. That single isn't included on this LP, although an updated version called "White Mouse Disco" concludes Side A. Pretty cool stuff! Angular femme post-punk, similar to the Au Pairs or Delta 5, or the Raincoats without the rustic violin. Lots of echo on the vocals, whether the singer needs it or not. They're not the tightest band I ever heard, but that just seems to add to the appeal; from time to time, when they rev things up, they sound as if they're teetering, about to lose control and shamble over the edge of the song. But they never do, so you have to wait to hear if they'll effin' well do it on the next song. Ten cool originals, plus a really good cover of the Stones' "Paint It Black" and one of the Edith Piaf song "Mi'Lord." Keeper for sure.

The Monroes
I picked up this record from a used bin, undoubtedly drawn by the single "What Do All the People Know?" That song still holds its appeal, with that glistening synth, the crisp drumming, the phased guitar, the melody, the vocal harmonies, the yearning in the lyric -- everything about this track is very Eighties, but in a way that remains irresistible. It uses all the tropes, but doesn't push any of them into the execrable zone. And the remaining four songs on the EP don't disappoint. (Well, three of them don't; the ballad "Blind Faith" does get a bit overwrought.) Another keeper.

When I think of Mr. Mister, I always smile because long time King Crimson drummer Pat Mastelotto started there.

Yes indeed, I had the pleasure of seeing Pat perform with King Crimson, and twice with the Stickmen. And I got to meet Pat after the second Stickmen show, and personally thank him for his work on XTC's Oranges & Lemons. But to my ears, none of that brilliance shines forth on Mr. Mister's album.

For what it's worth, Mastelotto has said he's proud of his work with Mr. Mister, and claims the band made the kind of music they wanted to make. He even hosted the other members in his studio for his 70th birthday party, so they still hang. I don't think the guy ever works with anyone whose music he doesn't appreciate on some level.

That said, he's also on the record about how delighted he was to work with XTC.

I've occasionally seen him work with local bands on stage here in Austin. He lives and has his studio in Dripping Springs, one of the little satellite towns in the Hill Country. I've never talked to him, but he's known to be friendly. And MAN, what a drummer.

I saw Mr. Mister live on the Welcome to the Real World tour. Solid band onstage. Interestingly, though they had two albums out at the time, they basically just played Real World, with one song from the previous one, and another that would end up...somewhere else. (A movie soundtrack? The third album? I don't remember.) So their headlining set was less than an hour.

> Mastelotto has said he's proud of his work
> with Mr. Mister, and claims the band made
> the kind of music they wanted to make.

Oh, I'm sure he is. I'm sure the guys in Styx, Journey, and those other bands feel the same way about their legacies. Just as I know very well that millions of fans would much rather listen to those bands' music than a lot of what I include in my show on Friday nights.

And really, what musician wouldn't be proud to be part of a band with a platinum album and three Top Ten singles (including two Number Ones)?

> That said, he's also on the record about how
> delighted he was to work with XTC.

Oh yeah, for sure. When I thanked him for his performance on Oranges & Lemons, all he had to say was "I'm a lucky man." I'm sure he's proud of his work with Crimson and Stickmen as well.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2026 09:54AM by Delvin.

Which is a good time to suggest that anyone who has an interest that they should go see Stick Men if they come to your area. (They have a new album coming out later this year.) Not only is the musicianship incredible, but Mastelotto in particular can be very entertaining behind the mic. At the show I saw, he wanted the audience to clap along to a song with constantly changing time signatures, knowing full well it would be a trainwreck.

To add onto seeing Stick Men live. They all stick (ha) around after the show to talk to fans. Very friendly bunch of guys.

Yes, I got to meet and chat with all three of the Stick Men when I saw them three years ago in Everett. And I got to meet two of them, Tony Levin and Michael Bernier, when I saw them open for Porcupine Tree in Stuttgart, in 2009. Pat M. wasn't at the merch booth to chat and sign autographs. Tony explained to me that Pat's drum kit includes a few irreplaceable pieces, so he doesn't let anyone else set it up or tear it down. "So sometimes he makes it to the booth with us, and sometimes he doesn't."

Wow, you saw them in 2009 with their original touch guitarist? You were onto to them before most Americans. Respect!

Thanks for the respect, Michael, but it was at least half luck that I saw the Stick Men that early. I was on business in Germany, and had the opportunity to see Porcupine Tree. The Stick Men were the opening act.

That said, I did text a concert buddy in CO with: "Dude, I am standing six feet from Tony Levin, watching him play 'Red.'"

I had all these on vinyl except for thee milkshakes. Your take is probably spot-on… can’t remember much about them. (I’m sure everyone who picked up that Monroes ep was after that single).

We may have to have Mrs Delvin weigh in on some of these… all the so-so stuff you married into? You were never guilty of buying crap yourself? (I bought so much crap used…. Yeesh).

Mr Mister I can’t bash too much. It is surely corporate and polished but it’s not like I could come up with songs like that. They’ve all got hooks. I’d likely rate it higher if I’d never heard it on the radio ad nauseum.

The singer was in a band called Pages which had a smooth ‘yacht rock’ type sound, the type of stuff you’d hear in a chess king dressing room.

Their song ‘you need a hero’ was wildly manipulated on the Macintosh Plus ‘floral shoppe’ album, a seminal vaporwave release. They were likely trying to create the sound of a decayed, abandoned shopping mall.

Again, love these installments!!

Oh, let there be no mistake, I've brought plenty of questionable musical selections into these shelves ... or at least, selections she'd see as a waste of space.

Let's see, we're getting into the M's, so the records I've bought that she'd probably smirk and shake her head over include such luminaries as:
Beastie Boys (I have little interest in hip hop, but her own interest is downright scant)
The Black Crowes (or, as she always calls them, "those whiny Black Crowes")
Bum Kon (a Denver hardcore band)
Cabaret Voltaire (earlier stuff, before they took their avant-garde sounds into a more danceable direction)
Cheetah
Dead Boys
Dishrags (a Vancouver hardcore band)
Girlschool (she has little tolerance for metal, no matter who's playing it),
Jethro Tull
And of course, Kiss.

Mr. Mister - I guess a few guys in this band could really play. There's Mastelotto, of course. And I recently learned via a series of videos from Vertex Effects that the guitarist, Steve Farris, was no slouch, either. He tells the story of his audition for Kiss to replace Ace Frehley, and they ended up using his solo on the track "Creatures of the Night." I checked it out--very nice solo if you like that sort of thing. I have not listened to Mr. Mister beyond the two hits, so I have no idea what kind of chops Farris brought to that album. The two hits are enough for me not to investigate further.

Modern English - After the Snow is a really good album, IMO. I tried listening to the albums that immediately preceeded and followed that one, but neither achieve the same quality. I'm not familiar the one you mentioned.

Not familiar with the other bands, but I checked out the songs you mentioned from The Monroes and The Mo-Dettes. Not for me.

I liked Ricochet Days, Modern English's follow-up to After the Snow.

I stand corrected! Pillow Lips was the album I was thinking about, not Ricochet Days. I'll have to check out that one!

I like that if you check the Wikipedia page for Modern English Stop Start, the Professional Ratings box off to the side includes usual suspects like AllMusic, the Rolling Stone Record Guide, Music Hound and, that titan of music journalism, The Sheboygan Press. The Press gave it four stars, so someone liked it in the Bratwurst Capital of the World.

I see that the Sheboygan Press is now printed in Peoria. If you could fit in Poughkeepsie or Cucamonga, you could make a pretty sturdy Vaudeville routine out of that information.

And reading further on the Wikipedia page, it appears that the music critic at the Omaha World-Herald panned it too. I'm sure these reviews must've cratered the band's collective sense of self-esteem.