How cool is Johnny Depp?

You can't count all the cool things Johnny Depp has done on two hands and two feet. It seems he has traveled the world only to amass cool points. His associations have rendered him artistic respect in renown circles -- look at the names: Allen Ginsberg, Hunter F. Thompson, plus a slew of other literati I don't know about. Ginsberg even tried to fondle him. Talk about extra cool credit.

Painters, poets, musicians, anyone with a creative bent, they all worship him and anoint him with leaves, ragweed and chestnuts. And Johnny Depp is part of a holy triumverate that includes Tim Burton and other shadowy Hollywood types. Icons of films past like Sir Christopher Lee and Vincent Price have proclaimed him the second coming of cool. Is it possible to go beyond cool? Johnny Depp certainly has.

I'm sure the nation will be gorged on upcoming doses of the Burton/Depp blockbusters until it gags and throws up. By that point Johnny Depp's invincible coolness will have backfired and he will fall to earth much like that Greek hero whose wings melted when he flew too close to the sun. People will then regard him as laughable like that crazed Asian in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

But then, as in all cycles, gifts return. Johnny Depp will be cool all over again.



Post Edited (06-11-10 22:31)

His Oscar nomination for playing Captain Jack Swallows deep-sixed a lot of his cool points, IMO. (I like the Pirates of the Caribbean movies about as much as Reno likes a certain Lucinda Williams album, if ya know what I mean.)

Pro: he was in a band with Gibby from the Butthole Surfers.

Con: he's goofy when he stays in character when working on a movie, even off the set.

He helped in the go-ahead (cash) for ANTI records PIRATES 2-disc companion Rogue's Gallery a collection of pirate ballads and sea shanties performed by the likes of Lou Reed, Loudon Wainwright III and clan, Dave Thomas, Akron Family, John C. Reilly, and too many others to name!

And he had sex with Winona Ryder!

Thats no elite club

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And he had sex with Winona Ryder!

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Thats no elite club

...

I'd certainly never turn my nose up at an offer of membership.

I just looked her up on Google images the other day and I thought she looked great. Of course, she's expected to look great. I keep meaning to see how she looked in her shoplifting mugshot.

I caught her name in the credits to that dreadful new Star Trek movie and was paralyzed by the fear that she was playing Uhuru's green roomie - guess my fears were needless.

I'd NEVER tattoo a woman's name on my arm like our Mr. Depp did. He clearly wasn't thinking when he did that. "Winona Forever?" Puh-leeze!

Is it true that he has one for Gibby on his ... other arm?

...

The only reasons to watch the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies are the countless frames of film that hold the image of sweet, sweet Keira Knightley. She sends me.

My favorite quote from her? "When in doubt ... faint."

And Depp jammed with Howlin Wolf, Sunny D, B.B. King and Sonny Boy Williamson. And Depp rapped with Public Enemy, NWA, and Tupac. Then he waxed soulful with Sam & Dave, Al Green and Smokey Robinson. The admiration of black people is worth thousands of points, plus the conquest of black women.

Oh, and I forgot the vanilla dollop, Kate Moss.

And he tanned the bevvy with Mr MacGowan.

This post is leading to a little ELP. Ooooooh, what a lucky man he is!

He played slide guitar on the worst Oasis album. No cool points there.

Is an important star in the Disney constellation, and therefore his fame helps fuel the oligopoly that is contemporary mass media. No cool points there.

Lives in France....and likes it. (C'est vraie!)



Post Edited (06-14-10 15:25)