Re: guitar heroes

oh yeah,
got the day off.
anyway the other day i held an eighty year old martin. I'ts a good thing i'm not religious because i coveted the shit outta that motherfucker.



Post Edited (01-20-09 15:27)

Martin Balsam? Hamlisch?

A: I've played piano since (whew) i was in the second grade.
hey!
no aint no piano playin pimp be my daddy.
mucho gusto guitara.



Post Edited (01-20-09 18:18)

Now I'm tryin to think of the worst guitarists 'cause everybody always talks about the greatest guitarists.

Any suggestions?

Jerry Garcia.

Thank god somebody else feels the same way. I've never heard anything even remotely inventinve or even particularly skilled in his playing.

No flexibility, no universality, no variance in tone--not even a bent string. Garcia is a plodder amongst guitarists. Thank god for very forgiving (ie, high or tripping) audiences.



Post Edited (01-22-09 19:48)

Here we go: Eddie Van Halen

I don't necessarily agree with it, but the TP review on Dinosaur has some pretty hilarious comments on J Mascis' guitar-playing abilities. Something like "exhibiting the nimble picking of a frostbite victim"....

I'd argue that Eddie (unintentionally) ruined rock guitar. So many flashy pickers tried to replicate all that tapping and dive-bomb whammy bullshit. He sounds like friggin' Hendrix compared to his way-too-many disciples.

Couldn't agree more on EVH's whammy-bar excesses, but I think he did have a really neat crunchy guitar sound on those first coupla albums. Maybe that's more a function of Templeman's production, but I think not and at least give Eddie credit for that.

I think Rick Nielsen is generally a pretty great guitarist, but I've always thought the solo on "Dream Police" was particularly lame. I half thought he might have let Robin have a turn for once....

Eddie Van Halen is without question the most talented and most innovative rock guitarist of his generation. Whammy bar antics are only a small portion of it. Please, listen to Little Guitars from Diver Down and hear one of the most perfect riff-rockers in the history of rock. Oh yeah, replete with beautiful solo flamenco opening.

Hey, there should be no controversy on this topic. Van Halen are #1 on the list of "MOST ACCURATELY RATED ARTISTS IN ROCK HISTORY! "

1. Van Halen: This band should have been the biggest arena act of the early 1980s, and they were. They had the greatest guitar player of the 1980s, and everyone (except possibly Yngwie Malmsteen) seems to agree. They switched singers and became semi-crappy, and nobody aggressively disputes that fact. They also recorded the most average song in rock history: "And the Cradle Will Rock." What this means is that any song better than "And the Cradle Will Rock" is good, and any song worse than "And the Cradle Will Rock" is bad. If we were to rank every rock song (in sequential order) from best to worst, "And the Cradle Will Rock" would be right in the fucking middle.

I don't dispute his way with a riff, which is the most important aspect of rock guitar anyway. But his riffs aren't what people talk about - it's his soloing, which is tapping, speed and whammy bar "antics" for no purpose other than to show he can do it. He's certainly a good, maybe even great riffmeister, but as a soloist he's gawdawful, and all the folks who try to copy that (forgetting the riff/music part) are even worse. And that's why I blame Eddie for ruining rock guitar.

I once read a letter in a guitar magazine where the letter writer took Eric Clapton to task for making his guitar cry when Van Halen makes his sound like an elephant and various other animals. My only thought was, "Why not make it sound like a guitar?"

Adrian Belew takes much the same approach, especially on his solo records, but I'd argue he has more musicality to his playing than Van Halen (at least in the soloing). And he's of the same generation as Eddie.

I was recently gifted with a Van Halen best of, and I have to admit that I was impressed with how musical the riffs were - and that's what makes those songs hold up. But, as I said, it's the solos people talk about when they talk about Eddie's ability, and that's what's had the most impact on the guitar playing world, for better or worse (and it's definitely worse).

Well, I thought he was good when he tried to blow up the plane in Airport.

Oh wait - that was Van Heflin.

Never mind.

Much more interesting thread.

Mick Mars
CC DeVille (no strong feelings about Willy DeVille one way or another)
Lydia Lunch
Jad Fair
The Nuge, post Amboy Dukes

Alright, gang, stop with the guitar geniuses and stay on topic. More crappy guitarists, please.

I'll say Kenny G. I know he's a saxophonist, but I can assure you, he would really suck on guitar as well.

Quote

Alright, gang, stop with the guitar geniuses and stay on topic. More crappy guitarists, please.

Ladies and Gents. Submitted for your approval ...


Jules Shear.

Whether this bozo is or is not a decent songwriter is Another Thread, Another Planet. What matters here is what I can remember of watching him "play guitar" on early runs of MTV Unplugged. His secret? Tune your guitar to an open chord and play with your thumb locked over the neck, pointing down. You have to hold the guitar all weird and look like a total dork while you're at it. Your elbow? Forget you have one. Pivot at the waist a bit as well. Like you're watering the lawn.

The dude looked like an animatronic puppet.

I just kept thinking:

Aimee Mann gave it up to this tool? No wonder she never writes any happy songs!

It was the 120 Minutes installment that featured The Church. At some point, Shear came out with Marty Wilson-Piper and they did a version of "Rain" (yes ... the Fab "Rain") that was fairly decent until Jules started singing. Remember: He is only alleged to be a great SONGWRITER.

Again ... another thread.

I seem to remember seeing a video snippet of The Fall where I realized that Craig Scanlon plays in a like manner, but without the thumb over the neck. Amazing how that minor concession to technique lowered the overall dork factor. Can't vouch that he plays that way at all times. Just that video snippet for "Eat Y'Self Fitter."

Hard to imagine Mark E. Smith ever getting hassled at a club. The man is a mast-ahh thesbian-ahh!



Post Edited (01-24-09 20:31)

That's what happens when you're a lefty who taught himself how to play. You notice he always hires other pickers to record parts on his albums.

I like his voice, but it's definitely a love or hate it proposition.

Quote

That's what happens when you're a lefty who taught himself how to play.

Jimi Hendrix just called in via Ouija board and he told me to tell you all that there is indeed another way!

I believe Hendrix had folks show him a few chords along the way. Shear had no one to even show him standard tuning. So he made it up as he went along.

That said, he obviously wasn't interested in becoming the world's greatest picker, since Mark Eitzel had the same limitations and came up with a more sophisticated playing style.

Post Edited (02-15-10 20:23)

I saw Chris Knox perform, and despite the fact that it was an enjoyable show, it was hard not to notice that he was one of the least sophisticated guitar players I have ever seen on a stage.

Every time I see live Kiss footage I'm always amazed at how anyone can think of Ace Frehley as a great guitarist. I swear he's who Chris Guest/Nigel Tufnel is imitating in Spinal Tap.

the guy who plays for Toto

pat benatar

clapton, post delaney (RIP)

Bernard Sumner by a country mile.

i don't like cc deville (either). but i love john freeman (MAGS).
And doug khazzam.



Post Edited (01-24-09 02:16)

I am not sure why anyone on this board even remembers or has any feelings about the band Poison, but I claim they were the most fun of the 80's glam-metal bands. I have nothing but fond memories of listening to Open Up and Say Aaaah through headphones at age 13. Simple guitar riffs, catchy choruses, silly but amusing look....good times.



Post Edited (01-24-09 10:40)

“I always just wanted someone to give me a pill and I could play like Jimmy Page, you know?”

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.
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Just like Aqua-Net, leg-warmers, and Ronald Reagan ... Eddie VH had his place and time. Would I be tipping my cards if I stated that my favorite EVH “guitar moments” were “Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)” and “Could This Be Magic?” So be it. There is no disputing that VH was the biggest MOR sensation since, like.... Dean Martin ( who never ever once influenced the way Weezer decorated their drum kit). But as far as the guitar playing goes, I'd rather play along with Poison Ivy or Dean Wareham. The fact that I cannot begin to approach EVH's "virtuosity" is beside the point. I've seen Jad Fair play guitar, and he is also a "virtuoso." He and I may be the only ones who think so, but as the man said :

"It's your guitar, after all."

Besides, he writes much better songs than Van Halen. “Better songs” trumps “flashy finger work” every time. I cannot for the life of me recall the tune of one of Yngwie Malmsteen’s “songs.”

Aside from the aforementioned Ivy and Wareham, these are a few of my favorite things:

Link Wray
Johnny Marr
Robyn Hitchcock
Max Eider
Django Reinhardt
D. Clinton Thompson
Alasdair McLean
James Honeyman Scott
Reg Smithies
Dave Fielding
The Edge
Andy Summers
Duane Denison
Ira Kaplan
Neil Young

Some are great technicians. Some are innovative. Some are just great team players. Some are all at once. They all have “that feel.” Aside from Andy Summers(and it isn‘t his fault), I own at least one CD that each plays on.

Kevin Shields would have made the list if I could have heard his guitar playing over the din.

And I’ll take AC/DC over Van Halen any day of the week and twice on Sunday. So there!

AND I’ll take Alex Lifeson over Eddie Van Halen any day as well.

So There Again!

D. Clinton Thompson! An unsung genius. Possibly a virtuoso, but so darn tasteful about it. Glad his name came up - I've always dug his work with the Skeletons and the Morells.

Joan Miro - Catalan Peasant with Guitar, 1924