Re: Predictions for 2009

The big rage amongst the indie-rock blogoscenti will be Indie Hair-Metal. Bringing indie-rock values to 80s style glam metal, poofy-haired and spandexed Ivy League drop-outs like the Fubarbarianz, Beever Kleever and the Angie Dickin' Sonz will punctuate their helium-vocaled libidinous odes to sexy librarians with squealing guitar solos that trail off into nothingness when the players lose interest in finishing them. Pitchfork's album of the year will be the Hanoi Paris Hiltonz' Slantyd and Enchantyd.

Mid-January will bring a historic summit of Obvious Douchebags Who Women Inexplicably Find Irresistible, as Ryan Adams and John Mayer sit down to divvy up the 2009 dating rights to Kate Bosworth, Leighton Meester, Anne Hathaway, the Vivian Girl who's halfway cute, Kaley Cuoco, My Brightest Diamond, Patti Smith, Allison Krauss, Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Miranda Lee Richards, Barbara Billingsley, St. Vincent, Pink, a couple of indie-rock bassists, Eliza Dushku, Yvonne Strahovsky, Venus Williams, Paz Vega, the hostess at the Newark Red Lobster, Jancee Dunn, Sarah Vowell, KT Tunstall, Cobie Caillat, Ingrid Michaelson, Rumer Willis and Mrs. Butterworth. Those women that Mayer is granted dating rights to will be allowed to stand backstage at his concerts and beam happily for a period of 3 tour stops, while those granted to Adams will find their bank accounts plundered to bankroll Adams' "An Album a Day in '09" campaign.

Ira Robbins will be inducted into the journalist wing of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. At his induction ceremony, the house supergroup consisting of Dave Grohl, Mike Mills, Phil Collins, Thurston Moore and Bryan Adams will perform a selection of Yo La Tengo's greatest hits.

Katy Perry will form a short-lived band with Lloyd Cole, collaborate with Ariana Huffington and Julia Sweeney, and fund her next album through fan donations.

Guests on Elvis Costello's Spectacle will include Brian Wilson, Bob Dylan, Patti Smith and Leonard Cohen. All will look like great ideas on paper, but then will proceed to answer questions with grunts, mumbles and incoherent ramblings, leaving poor Elvis scrambling to fill an hour with something worthwhile. (See the Lou Reed and James Taylor episodes for previews.)

Hip influences to namedrop in 09:

The Passage
The Passions
Penetration
Billy Thorpe
Gentle Giant
Candlebox
Peggy Lee
The Skillet Lickers
The Normal
Earle Hagen
Moon Martin
Translator
The Squalls
Skid Roper (but NOT Mojo Nixon)
The Lurkers
Re-Flex



Post Edited (01-01-09 11:18)

Hip influences to namedrop in 09:
The Passions

Just heard a cover of "I'm In Love With A German Film Star" on the radio recently. So there ya go.

Quote

blogoscenti

The strict proscriptionist on the other side of the room takes issue with this term as written. They wonder:

Wouldn't "Blognoscenti" be a better e-corruption of "cognoscenti?"

:::rolls eyes:::

TOP 10 THINGS BLOGOSCENTI COULD BE, BUT AIN'T

10 Italian indie filmmaker you've probably never heard of.
09 Scrabble coup!
08 Nasty-assed lunchmeat behind the olive loaf and head cheese.
07 Opinion-shaped pasta.
06 Celtic tribe flamed by Romans.
05 A somewhat impertinent wine of questionable origin.
04 Diminutive "blogoscent."
03 Antique sports coupe from the golden age of motoring.
02 The new air freshener from Glade!
01 "A grammatical issue not worth getting riled about Dammit! Don't you have anything better to do than mess with my !@#$%^&* morning?"

Quote

Wouldn't "Blognoscenti" be a better e-corruption of "cognoscenti?"

Well in cognoscenti the gno is the important part- as in gnostic, gnosis, and the co is a prefix (?) as in cognizant and cognition.

So it's not necessary to add an n to blogoscenti, unless you do it to further the pun.

I dunno. Who knows?

the first signs of a 90s revival will show. get outcher flannel!

Disney will continue to consolidate their hold on power-pop. Damn shame.

Just heard a question on RockWiz regarding Billy Thorpe causing death in the fishtank at a Sydney venue. Check out "Billy Thorpe & The Aztecs - Mama live on GTK" on Youtube and it will explain how.
But if you're going to have him, you might as well have Lobby Loyde (& Wild Cherries & Coloured Balls) too.

The Passage! I always wondered how they went about things live.

The Passions! Am I still correct in thinking there is no sign of Sanctuary on CD?