Re: Television Confessions

So, I tuned into Rock Star:INXS (now there's a program that won't pronounce it 'ink-sis') for the heck of it. The amusing thing, to me:
I. How many times are people going to>>
A) Growl
Bang head
C) Throw devil horns hand signal
D) Say the word 'rawwwk' and/or 'ROCKERRR'!

II: Would they really have a woman front their band??

III. Does Navarro make the show worth watching? The quintessential rock star/wasto/television personality. In a different time, would he have been a regular on Carol Burnett?



Post Edited (07-12-05 23:21)

A) 32 -- Only two during mockery of Michael Hutchence's autoasphyxiation fetish. The other 30 are INXStupid.
5
C) 10 -- Nine of whom will be AC/DC fans in the background.
D) I won't even venture to guess. Too depressing.

II. Yes. I will respect them all the more if that female is one of the following:
A. Lisa Suckdog
B. Karen Finley
C. Joan Jett (but don't accept, Joan, please)
D. Queen Elizabeth
E. Belinda Carlisle (the Go-Go's made three or four great singles; INXS made three or four very good ones)
F. Aretha Franklin -- Ha! She's embarrassed herself enough already and tarnished what was an incredible musical legacy (La Diva, anyone? "Who's Zoomin' Who?" indeed ...). Why not?
G. Queen Friggin' Elizabeth
H. Any member of the Shaggs.

III. Navarro is never worth watching. He's creepy. Not alluring creepy, mind you. Child molester creepy. His facial hair is waaay too neatly cropped.

It's just wrong...If the band wants to rekindle,,do it on your own not on TV, if your good we will come,,I can guarantee by doing it on Tv your only out for the quick pay check..not what artistic value the band has..pretty sad if you are all that bad in debt I can send you a few bucks..Better then ruining you reputation to the whole world...Hate to think INXS as the band that really and totally sold out..Keep your face..Had a great band,,and bad **** happened

Tripp's post made me consider something:

Would *you* want to audition for a spot in a band, or a part in a play, or anything else, knowing that your audition would be videotaped and broadcast, warts & all, on national TV?

(Actually, being a reality TV show, they undoubtedly skew their edits to emphasize the more embarrassing or laughable parts. So the broadcast is more like "warts & more warts.")

Apparently, the network found plenty of willing contestants for *Rock Star*, and narrowed the field down to, what, 15 of them ... and the producers of *American Idol* find plenty of eager aspirants, season after season ... so the answer is clearly yes, for quite a few people.

I can tell you, my answer would be NO. Never mind the question of whether I have any talent; I'd just as soon not compound the pressure of trying to give a decent audition by adding a TV audience to the experience.

How about the rest of you?

Excellent email entry had me laughing for at least 10 minutes,,alot is sad but all is said so true,,glad to see someone with a brain and a sense of humorjglauner wrote:

> A) 32 -- Only two during mockery of Michael Hutchence's
> autoasphyxiation fetish. The other 30 are INXStupid.
> 5
> C) 10 -- Nine of whom will be AC/DC fans in the background.
> D) I won't even venture to guess. Too depressing.
>
> II. Yes. I will respect them all the more if that female is one
> of the following:
> A. Lisa Suckdog
> B. Karen Finley
> C. Joan Jett (but don't accept, Joan, please)
> D. Queen Elizabeth
> E. Belinda Carlisle (the Go-Go's made three or four great
> singles; INXS made three or four very good ones)
> F. Aretha Franklin -- Ha! She's embarrassed herself enough
> already and tarnished what was an incredible musical legacy (La
> Diva, anyone? "Who's Zoomin' Who?" indeed ...). Why not?
> G. Queen Friggin' Elizabeth
> H. Any member of the Shaggs.
>
> III. Navarro is never worth watching. He's creepy. Not alluring
> creepy, mind you. Child molester creepy. His facial hair is
> waaay too neatly cropped.

Somebody asked me what I thought of the whole concept of INXS finding its new singer on national television. I thought about it and offered my opinion:

The band has the right to find its new singer by this means. And I'm sure INXS is being paid a ton of cash to do it. But considering that the other band members had known Michael Hutchence since high school, and had been bandmates with him for 20 years, it seems like an insult to his memory to find his replacement through a reality TV show.

I shared this with another friend later, who responded: "Well, Hutchence must not have been thinking much about his bandmates when he took his own life. If being in INXS meant so little to him, after 20 years, that he could hang himself, then I'd say he chose to insult his own memory on the way out."

I don't want to get all salacious and Leggs McNeil about this, but from an objective distance it seems that the investigation into Huthcence's death was wrapped up a little prematurely. (Him being an Australian icon and all.) I don't want to sully the post with too much speculation, but a door-knob doesn't seem like the best height from which to hang one's self.

In other words, he was jacking off while choking hinself and he accidentally killed himself. It's sad and pathetic, just like this goddamned piece of shite TV show. Does no one remember that the US couldn't have given a flying f*ck about INXS when Michael was still living; that their time in the American sun was pretty much over after "Kick." Does it really matter if they pick a woman, the black guy, a midget? They could dig up the corpse of their late leader and prance it around on stage and no one would bat an eye.

Personally, I'm hoping they go with a midget. The worst part of the show is the ridiculous pedestal the band puts themselves on (or the producers do). They make it seem like you're auditioning to replace Jagger in the Stones circa 1970. Dave Navarro as host is also a riot - the very definition of a poseur (and of incompetence as a guitar player too). He should be practicing his guitar playing - instead his many trips to the spa have turned him into the male, metrosexual version of Faruiza Balk.



Post Edited (07-14-05 20:57)

Yes, I'd say it matters who the members of INXS choose as the new singer for their band. At least, it matters to INXS.

For one thing, they're doing this on national TV, and it's important that they don't make fools of themselves. (Of course, one could argue that they've done this already, just by putting this search on TV ... let alone tolerating Dave "Carmen, have you seen my hair gel?" Navarro as its host.)

For another thing, consider *American Idol*. (Yeah, I know: "Do I have to?" Well, no, you don't, but bear with me if you feel like it.) A lot of ostensibly hip people bag on *American Idol*, including me. (The operative word, in my case, being "ostensibly.") Nevertheless, several of the winners from that show have gone on to viable careers in music, at least from a commercial point of view. With the publicity from *Rock Star*, it's quite possible that INXS will see at least a short-term rise in their commercial fortunes.

And who knows? INXS may end up picking a new singer who, beyond considerations of race, gender or height, truly clicks with the other members. And together, they may make the comeback of the decade. A long shot? Certainly. But stranger things have happened.

The problem is, it DOESN'T really matter to INXS. The "American Public" is responsible for certain levels of elimination, meaning that much of who the band gets to choose from depends on the viewers of the show that don't just sit back and openly ridicule the proceedings--because, damn it, that's the payback for being on TV--but willfully involve themselves by picking up the phone and actually voting. I don't begrudge INXS for wanting to continue their career as, dare I say, "rockers," but the fact that they decided to do it on a crappy Real World retread full of talentless, I'm-so-intense-I'm-gonna-blow-your-fuckin'-mind screamers is an insult to anyone that EVER thought this mediocre-at-best band was at one time cool sh*t. I liked the band quite a bit back in the day, so I resent the fact that I can now see them bobbing their heads to some Joss Stone wannabe like it's the best thing they've ever heard. F*ck the Farriss Brothers, f*ck reality TV and f*ck INXS.

The point isn't for INXS to make a 'comeback'. Far from it. It doesn't matter which retired band it is - INXS just happened to fit the bill. Sure, they'll do a one-off tour to reap more profits; the American Idol formula - there's a built-in audience of pre-pubes (and wannabes) who will have watched enough to episodes to buy the ticket. Afterwards, INXS will be forgotten again - just like this years AI's. Then, if the show and tour are successful, they'll find a new singer for Van Halen next season. It's just a formula, guys. Not a great rock band with more creativity just exploding under the radar if they could only find a new singer. Network TV is barely idling along and can not even come close to competing against cable any longer; therefore A)This is as good as it gets when you can't afford writers or actors Gotta take it for what it is and be amazed at Dave and the proceedings. It's a freak show.

I think it's also a larger comment on the horribly detrimental effect that media consolidation has had on TV. There are so few new original ideas out there and the debt-heavy conglomerates must strike for the quick, easy and enormous dollar---hence playing out all of these reality TV ideas ad-freaking-nauseum. I honestly don't think that an idea like Seinfeld or the Simpsons would ever make it on television in this day and age. There would be too much of a leap of faith involved. We know how consolidation has damaged the recording and radio industry--it's just as detrimental to TV. As for INXS, they simply need the money. . .1990 was the beginning of a long horrible slide out of the zeitgeist for them. That whole decade they became more and more meaningless. And now, fifteen years after "Suicide Blonde," they have a chance for this kind of exposure??? Hot damn.

I propose a reality show in which Roky Erickson auditions for new 13th Floor Elevators. He'd make Ozzy look like Pat Boone.

I like that idea. Roky Erickson auditioning new 13th Floor Elevators. The Dave Navaro role on that show should go to Syd Barrett.

this whole website, which I'm new to, reminds me of VH1's "I love the 80's, 70's, 90's,..." whatever, where, in order to be "funny" , music ,movies, and other genre are just ripped to pieces by people who can't do anything , even if you weren't alive at the time. INXS certainly has the right to do anything they want, that's it. If you don't like it, don't watch it, and don't give it credibility by talking about it.

Wow! That's the first time anyone's implied that I could possibly give *anything* credibility. Thanks, muchtoomuch, you've made my day!

whoa, man, just killing some time. but if this is VH1, can i be michael ian black? he's pretty "funny".

(Concerning the actual topic, I love music, and I love watching shows concerning music, and it hurts me somewhere down deep inside when a fine group of musicians like INXS sells their collective soul to Satan, and not in a cool Robert Johnson kinda way but a way that puts them in the same league as Hulk Hogan and Corey Feldman. I talk about it not to give it credibility--which I believe is impossible anyway--but to purge my head of the evil thoughts. Anyway, this site's ABOUT highly opinionated music criticism. "If you don't like it, don't watch it...")

You know what.....I won't.

Actually, I hope Muchtoomuch doesn't leave, because I'm curious as to what his/her (you won't catch me making any assumptions about gender again) viewpoint on INXS/Rock Star actually is - on the one hand, MTM defends INXS's right to do whatever they want, which I agree with even if I don't like what they've decided to do, but then says talking about it gives it credibility, which seems to imply that MTM agrees that it lacks credibility. So I'm not sure what point is actually being made here, other than MTM doesn't like us.

Obviously the discussion struck a nerve with MTM, but I'm not sure what nerve it was - is it of a fan sticking up for a beloved group who doesn't want to see them criticized, or is it of a fan who's just as disappointed with that group as other posters here are? Or is it someone who just doesn't like the tone of the discussion?

Like Eberhard said, if people are slamming INXS/Rock Star, it's because INXS the band meant something to people here, and it's hard to see someone once respected cheapen a legacy of actual accomplishment with a cheesy grab at whatever publicity is left to them. It just seems like a fairly pathetic end for a group of people who were and probably still ARE capable of better but for whatever reason felt the need to follow this path. It's like seeing Orson Welles selling no wine before its time - the man did Citizen Kane and Touch of Evil, dammit. Why the hell was he shilling for cheap wine? (Not to imply that INXS were on an artistic par with Orson Welles.)

I am a little mystified that someone would come to a message board and be shocked - SHOCKED - by the fact that it contains a large amount of snarky commentary. I've yet to see a message board that doesn't. The TP board is actually pretty mild in that regard and in general pretty respectful - this is the first time I've seen the discussion here even come close to degenerating into name-calling and personal attacks, which are pretty standard on most message boards, but has never turned up here, even from that dope Baker. (kidding, kidding...)

So Muchtoomuch, don't go away - make the point you want to make about INXS a little more clearly and see what happens. If you don't like the tone of discussion, try to steer it in a different direction. Don't just stomp off. If you cared enough about music to actually seek this site out, chances are you have opinions that people here would like to hear.

Hear, hear. On most days, the "snarky commentary" on this board is half the fun.

what's a snark?

I think the Snark was the monster in that old song by Stackridge.

Wait, no, that was the Slark.

Hearing that song, "2112" and on very rare occasions "Supper's Ready" on the radio were sure signs that the DJ needed a bathroom break. ("Stairway to Heaven" and "Layla" just meant he needed to hit the vending machine.) Ah, how I miss the days of the "FM album rock" format. You never hear "Two Hangmen Hanging From a Tree" anymore.

[www.religion-online.org]

Yeah, John Michael and Terry Talbot from Mason Profitt could be added to the list of rockers who found Jesus that started on another thread around here somewhere.

Also:

Mark Farner of Grand Funk Railroad
Kerry Livgren of Kansas
Tonio K
Roger McGuinn & Chris Hillman of the Byrds
John Davis from Superdrag
Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul & Mary
Glenn Galloway from Truman's Water
Peter Case
Wanda Jackson
Jerry Lee Lewis keeps finding Jesus then misplacing Him again somewhere



Post Edited (08-11-05 11:27)

little richard once thanked god for putting out a fire on a plane he was in. He repaid god by not rockin out for a while. Then, I think god told him to go ahead and rock again... (story courtesy of MISTER Nik Cohn)

So, Yahweh told INXS to rock out again? Or was INXS in a fire (perhaps cause by Navarros gel)? If God told them to rock out again, did they ignore him and make a TV show instead? What diety told them people would buy tickets/LPS with a woman singing their (somehwhat masculine) hits? - obviously a network requirement - wouldn't have happened in the real world.

"I need you tonight
'Cause I'm not sleeping
There's something about you girl that makes me sweat"

"She stripped to the beat but her clothes stayed on
Such a squeeze!"

etc.

Curious, I just listened to Ritual and Nothings Shocking. Navarro IS, in fact, one talented metro.

Entertaining candidates for singer:
Johnny Knoxville
Sammy Hagar
Kris Novoselic
Jim Reid
Pollard
Beatle Bob
Paul Reubens as himself
Corey Feldman
Juliette Lewis
Any Osbourne
Dave Pirner
Fred Schneider
Julian Lennon
Steve Albini
Rollins
Nick Cave
Gibby Haynes (hell, Haynes for president!)
David Lowery
Mark E. Smith
Wayne Coyne
Ian MacKye
Bob Weir
Byrne
Mould
Mitch Easter
Malkmus
Reznor (wait, I actually can picture that)
Both Gallaghers
Stipe/Bono (see Reznor)
Morrisey
Thurston
Gedge
Ira Kaplan



Post Edited (08-12-05 04:36)

By both Gallaghers, do you mean the Oasis guys or the melon smashing comedian and his brother? Because personally I'd rather see the latter.

The person I'd really like to see in the job is David Fenton - when he left the Vapors back in 1981 or whenever he hinted he had other projects coming up. Maybe this is it.

I know she looks mannish but dammit, man! She's his sister!

speaking of sisters

the wiggins sisters could front INXS

but that would prove there WAS no god...

I'm trying to imagine what that would sound like but have discovered it's much easier to imagine Michael Hutchence singing "My Pal Foot Foot." It really doesn't sound half bad.

If we're going to try to imagine a stretch like that ... How about Johnny Rotten?

I think they should use the ultimate "D list" replacement singer: Michael DesBarres. Based on what they're auditioning, he'd fit the bill.

Otherwise I think Chris Knox (Tall Dwarfs) would be my choice. Can't really sing, and probably would hate the gig, but he's from Down Under and might give them some indie cred after this TV debacle.

....on second thought. I think Peter Noone is more up their alley these days.

Rotten/Lydon is interesting, because that also makes me imagine "The Devil Inside" with a Jah Wobble bass line. Damn - the way I'm hearing it in my head, it would've sounded great on Metal Box.

And back to the Wiggins sisters angle, Imaginary Johnny Rotten does a pretty good version of "My Pal Foot Foot," also. As does Imaginary Richard Butler. But the best I've heard in my head so far is Imaginary Shatner.

Which would also make a pretty good band name.

"Imaginary Shatner" ... Yeah, that is good. Suppose he'd sue?

Next thread:
Imaginary Shatner set list.

shatner at maxwell's

Spaceman
Unlit Galaxies
Mood Indigo
Pretty Vacant
Weird and Blue
Femme Fatale
City Slang
Reverberation (Doubt)
No Man's Land
Philosophy of the World
Big Girls Don't Cry

encore

Medley from Dial M for ************
Backfield in Motion
Fire and Rain

Ah, money and selling out maxwell's won't do shatner no good now. Not unless he can fit into those circa '67 stright leg gold slacks. Now there's a rerun worth saving. As far as the INXS show? If Shatner can't fit into those slacks today, cut 'em down the middle, rip 'em into shreds and hang everyone associated with the show with an even sized piece. The ghost of Hutchence lives!

wasn't there a cartoon show in the 80's that contained 'snarks'? Vh1 is airing "i Love the..." in a few minutes...i'll check there.

That was a great post breno. I came on this board quite aggressively at first and the dialog sort of got snarky . I thought about just leaving, but when I came back, I realized everything was cool and not only did I approach topics differently, the fact that others didn't chop my head off for those previous posts made me feel more welcome. I always wanted to thank everybody here for that - I'm thinking Paganizer was particularly welcoming after we had some initial friction. Back on topic, I can't say I have a problem with the concept or the bands right to do it- just that it comes across as a cynical marketing ploy. Rock & Roll Karaoke. Plus the ghost of Hutchence hangs over the show in a creepy way, - has someone actually had the bad taste to sing "Suicide Blonde" in these performances?



Post Edited (08-11-05 06:36)

I start to spin the tale, you complain of my diction.
You Give Me Friction - but I Dig Friction
You Know I'm Crazy About Friction!

3 words: Jada Pinkett-Smith

they already had terrence trent d'arby, right?

seems like he'd have been the perfect fit.

or has he already killed himself, too?



if so, might as well plug tommy stinson in. hehe, not as if he's good at anything besides acting like a rockstar anyway...

with daniel johnston as announcer and wesley willis as gene gene the dancing machine

The Murder Junkies looking for the next GG Allin????

Dunno...one gg was enough

I just purchased a copy of the remastered version of Raw Power & I read in Iggy's liner notes that during the period of inactivity between Fun House & Raw Power, the Asherton brothers actually did a gig in Detroit where they auditioned people to be the new Iggy. It also reminded me of the scene in the Great Rock 'n Roll Swindle where they had people try to be the new Johhny Rotten (which reminded me of the Hitler audition scene in the original Producers). Either one of those would have better (& funnier) reality shows than the INXS one.

I find it disgraceful. Not only is it an insult to Michael, they've proven to be pandering whores who probably thought the publicity would make their next record shoot straight to number 1. Well ho-dee-ho, it hasn't, and they can pocket this in their long list of clunkers.

INXS was one of the best bands in Popular Music, with a unique sound that was not quite the varying styles that they had, yet blended that diversity into one cool, distinct whole. It's too bad that the surviving band members had to stain the group's reputation. But they can be assured that the band's legacy is too strong to be undermined by shortsighted, self-seeking proclivities.

Thanks to people like Delvin , The Floyd (Eberhard), The (Replace) mat and Erik (in) albany I think that I've now heard at least four sides of this four sided sad and exciting story. And THAT is what's cool. Not the F***kin this or the fuc*in that. Rock and Roll will never fuckin die.



Post Edited (07-15-05 22:50)

Although I like a handfull of INXS singles, I really don't care except that I do believe that reality tv is a brain-rotting evil that fits nicely into the Bread and Circuses theory of America as the New Rome in serious decline.

The thing that I really wonder about is this:

A) Dave Navarro has proved himself to be one of the key guitar innovators and most kick-a** rockers of his time

His whole legend is based on two Janes Addiction records (perhaps buttressed by the early live Janes record and the comeback album from a few years ago and the failed Chilli Peppers CD is you want to be generous). The little bit of solo stuff he has done was pretty lame

C) Has any other rock star gotten more mileage out of so little (albeit brilliant) output?

D) Why is this clown on American Idol- INXS, showing off his lame apartment on MTV, Playing Poker-With-The-Stars, etc. and not rocking out?

I gotta believe that rock and roll karma is going to ensure he goes bald and his tattoos sag any time now. The first Lollapalooza was a long time ago, how much longer can he really be credible as a youth culture figure?

I think that maybe, just maybe Lloyd Cole could pull it off.?????

How about Ian Astbury? He might be looking for work since it sounds like John Densmore succeeded in closing the Doors of the 21st Century. He could go from trying to be a direct clone of Jim Morrison to being a clone of a Jim Morrison semi-clone.

The last time i saw that guy (Astbury, not Morrison) he was passed out flat on his back onstage. The first minute or two everyone was like "AWRIGHT! YEAH! WHOA!!! etc) then after about four or five minutes it was "GET UP!! YOU SUCK!!! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!! He laid there for 15 minutes



Post Edited (08-14-05 00:03)