"Alert PETA" b/w/ "Xmas wishes"

If ya'll have paid attention to the marginalia of my posts, you'll remember that I'm in the middle of a move. One of my tasks has been to cull through my stuff and get rid of the dross.

So I'm sifting through the crates of CDs and end up with a pile that’s trash, and another that's "for review."

One of the titles is "Schrei X" by Diamanda Galas. I got it for nothing (it's always good to cultivate friendships with college radio DJs, or be directly related to one), so it’s not anything I couldn’t bear to dump, if it came right down to it. Ms. Galas is already represented in my collection anyway. I own a used copy of "The Sporting Life," which is probably the only Diamanda Galas title that any normal human needs to own. I’m all for challenging myself when it comes to music, but I do have my limits. I DO know who I'm dealing with in this instance.

So I pop "Schrei X" into the CD player, and it's just as I remember it: baleful noise. It's not so much that it outright sucks … it is just beyond words. Like some sort of insane acapella take on "Metal Machine Music."

The punch line is that the dog (who has never heard Diamanda Galas before) almost immediately comes running in to investigate the noise. You know how a dog will perk it’s ears up and cock it's head to one side when it doesn't quite know what it's hearing? That was the exact reaction. By the time the 2nd track commenced, she’d crept under the table and put her muzzle in my lap, clearly seeking comfort and assurance that everything was going to be OK.

“There, there, pup. That noisy stuff won’t hurt you! Poor doggy!”

Anybody else have any music that sets the hounds in a tizzy?

PS - I’m keeping the Diamanda Galas CD. One never knows when such a weapon might come in handy. Maybe on my answering machine?

(((cue nefarious organ music and tormented howls)))

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Also! I want MacFarlane toys to do a Diamanda Galas action figure! How cool would that be? In fact, why stop there? They should produce an entire line oddball music action figures! They did KISS action figures, right?

"They have Nick Cave dolls now? I waaaaaant one!"

Here’s me on Santa’s lap:

“…and I wanna Johnny Thunders act-chin figger … and I want the Pere Ubu “30 Seconds Over Tokyo” play set … and I want the Wayne/Jayne County act-chin figger with the reversible junk …”

Best … Gifts … EVER!

Once I ran an emergency errand while one of the CDs in the Star Time box set was playing on my living room stereo. When I came home, my dogs were quite agitated and frantic. I may be wrong, but I think the dogs believed James was screaming at them.

Didn't McFarlane already do Maryilyn Manson and Rob Zombie dolls? Maybe I'm imagining that.

I think a Galas figure would be awesome.

Our old shepard/chow mix pricked up his ears when I was playing a cd of Australian digeridoo music I got out of the library - the didge player was imitating animal sounds.

He was also intrigued when I'd play my congo drum - running up to it, even putting his head on the drum, while our cocker spaniel fled in fright.

But anyway, who needs a Diamanda Galas doll when you can get

this?

That is the greatest thing ever.

And "Radio 4" off of Metal Box used to agitate my chow. (that's what she said)

"Need" is a strong word. I had that one for a week or two and have found my life to be no less fulfilled after I traded it in.

I've never seen music provoke a violent response in animals firsthand, but back in the 70s may brother had a pair of plaid bellbottoms and Fritz the dog attacked him every time he wore them.

Good dog, that Fritz.

no pets, but...


> the only Diamanda Galas title that any normal human needs to own: