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Author: MrFab
Date: 02-09-12 13:50
What will we do? Go back to so-and-so and His Orchestra? The (your name here) Combo? I'm afraid we must, as we are scraping the barrel:
We Came As Romans
Volcano, I'm Still Excited!!
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Black Pus
Piss-Stained Jeans
This Town Needs Guns
Bear in Heaven
Panda Bear
Grizzly Bear
Boy & Bear
Minus The Bear
Polar Bear Club
The Bunny The Bear
Bear
And So I Watch You From Afar
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Author: nosepail
Date: 02-09-12 14:01
I wince every time I hear the band named "Clams Casino". I kind of like their music, but ughhhh
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Author: Mr Manager
Date: 02-09-12 14:01
"We've Run Out of Band Names" is a better band name than any of those. Sometimes, the best answer is staring you right in the face.
When I was in college, I wanted to start a band called Super Small, since at that time it seemed like both of those words were being wildly overused in band names. The only thing that stood in my way was a lack of musical talent.
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Author: Michael Toland
Date: 02-09-12 14:07
Volcano, I'm Still Excited!!
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Probably my least favorite band names ever.
Don't forget I am the World Trade Center and the Pee Wee Fist.
The problem with bad band names is that I assume the band also sucks, because they clearly have no creativity. I rolled my eyes at the Fags and Southern Bitch (for obvious reasons) and later found out they were both pretty great bands. Neither exists any longer, though, and that doesn't surprise me. Who'd book either of them?
The funny thing is it can't be that hard to find a good band name. Just go over the song titles of your favorite artists and watch The Simpsons. I'm still waiting for a band to name itself Forbidden Donut.
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-09-12 14:28
It's the first annual "Worst Names in Rock" Festival, folks! Everyone's guaranteed to be offended by at least one band on this bill! Appearing one night only ...
Fucked Up
Anal Cunt
The Fags
Southern Bitch
The Negro Problem
Black Pus
Piss-Stained Jeans
This Town Needs Guns
I Am the World Trade Center
Styx
One night only, at Clams Casino! Brought to you by Forbidden Donut Productions.
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Author: MrFab
Date: 02-09-12 14:35
Oops, sorry, actually the band is called 'Pissed Jeans.' (They're on SubPop, no less.)
Good news, bands: 'Piss-Stained Jeans' is available!
Oh, and Delvin, can you add The Queers and The Homosexuals to your bill? They could play after The Fags.
Post Edited (02-09-12 14:37)
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-09-12 14:42
Certainly, I'll get on the phone to ForbDo and they'll be right on that! Great suggestion, Fab!
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-09-12 14:45
"Hey, Tiny, who's playing tonight?"
"The Jolly Green Giants, and the Shitty Beetles."
"The Shitty Beetles? Are they any good?"
"They suck."
"Oh, so it's not just a clever name."
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Author: HollowbodyKay
Date: 02-09-12 15:02
Quote:
Fucked Up
Anal Cunt
The Fags
Southern Bitch
The Negro Problem
Black Pus
Piss-Stained Jeans
This Town Needs Guns
I Am the World Trade Center
Styx
One night only, at Clams Casino! Brought to you by Forbidden Donut Productions.
First. Has Anal Cunt ever covered Styx's "Come Sail Away?" If not, they should.
Second. I thought it was supposed to be "Calm Casino?"
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Author: MrFab
Date: 02-09-12 15:03
Abe Vigoda
Sissy Spacek
Nicole Kidman
Following a trend started by Jamaican singers in the '80s:
Charlie Chaplin
Tony Curtis
Gregory Peck
Clint Eastwood
My wife was very confused when she saw that Abe Vigoda was listed as appearing at a local club. I had to explain it to her. Love the band, but I wonder if they get confused 'Barney Miller' fans showing up at their shows?
Post Edited (02-09-12 15:09)
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Author: MrFab
Date: 02-09-12 15:42
Quote:
I think The Negro Problem is a great ironic band name.
Yes, but what about Turbonegro?
wiki sez: "Initially the band had two running ideas for band names: Nazipenis and Turbonegro. They were advised that a band named Nazipenis would never sell records"
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Author: Michael Toland
Date: 02-09-12 15:50
Keep in mind Turbonegro is all about ironic offense, i.e. song titles like "The Midnight NAMBLA," "Young Boys Feet," "I Got Erection" (all from an album called Ass Cobra), "Good Head" and "Rendezvous With Anus." Not to mention shoving Tom of Finland artwork down the throats of macho hard rock enthusiasts.
Of course, my favorite Turbonegro title is "Don't Say Motherfucker, Motherfucker."
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Author: dj45rpm
Date: 02-09-12 16:31
I was actually at the Gilman St. show a few years back where the Queers played with the Hard-Ons.
(Now THAT was some inspired booking!)
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Author: Jermoe
Date: 02-09-12 21:17
I'm not going out of my way to defend them, but the band I am the World Trade Center chose their name prior to the attack.
And I like the name Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin...not enough to actually familiarize myself with their output, but you get the idea.
While we're on the topic, I'm currently listening to the unfortunately-named Dogs Die in Hot Cars technically-unreleased sophomore effort (now known as Making Pop Nonsense–recommended tracks include "Something for the Good Boys" and "Serious," neither of which sound anything like XTC), and it's not going to grow hair on your chest or anything, but damn!...
Post Edited (02-09-12 21:33)
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-10-12 10:17
Finally! The second album from Dogs Die in Hot Cars! Thanks for the heads-up, Jermoe.
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-10-12 10:22
Godspeed You Black Emperor is not quite on the same level as the band names mentioned above, but I can see where it could offend some people. That said, I like the name a lot.
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Author: HollowbodyKay
Date: 02-10-12 10:37
Quote:
Godspeed You Black Emperor is not quite on the same level as the band names mentioned above, but I can see where it could offend some people.
Really? Why? I've never had anyone even hint that it might be offensive.
I like the name as well.
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Author: MrFab
Date: 02-10-12 15:23
I like robots as much as the next guy, but c'mon:
Ima Robot
I Am Robot and Proud
Robots in Disguise
Rise Robots Rise
Free The Robots
Hot Like [A] Robot
Robot Ate Me
Deep Dark Robot
Black Robot
Robot Koch
Lousy Robot
Shit Robot
Ghost of the Robot
Wanna make it in music? Name your band 'Robot Bear.'
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-10-12 15:58
We Came As Robots
Robot, I'm Still Excited!!
Piss-Stained Robots
This Town Needs Robots
Robot in Heaven
Boy & Robot
Minus The Robot
Robot Casino
Southern Robots
The Autosexuals
The Robot Clams (okay, that one sucks)
Robot of the Month Club
And So I Control the Robot From Afar
The Robot Problem (or maybe The Negro Robot)
Turbo-Robot
Godspeed You Black Robot
Robots Malfunction in Hot Cars
I Am the Spare Parts Depot
Someone Still Loves You Karel Capek
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Author: breno
Date: 02-14-12 09:20
In the vein of Abe Vigoda, I can't stand the band name Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., though I like the band itself just fine.
I'm also very irked by the country popsters The Band Perry. I guess they wanted to make sure no one confused them with Katy Perry, but could they have come up with a more awkward sounding way to do so?
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Author: nosepail
Date: 02-14-12 10:11
I received one of the most unexpected text messages of my life last night. My girlfriend was meeting up with an old schoolfriend at a bar. I get a text saying "My friend is dating the drummer from Anal Cunt, and would like to go on a double date with us." (Both me and the drummer live in Newton MA). Truthfully, I would prefer more degrees of separation between me and this band, but I am already preparing a list of potential converstation topics....just in case.
Post Edited (02-14-12 10:11)
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-14-12 12:28
Holy jeez! If that double-date occurs, Nose, I want a fully detailed TP report!
Kay, this seems right up your alley. Any suggestions of conversational gambits for Nosepail?
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Author: rhettlawrence
Date: 02-14-12 17:47
I think Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. is kinda funny.
My wife plays fiddle and was kinda jamming with two other female friends a few years ago, doing mostly country and bluegrass covers. They wanted to call themselves Skank Williams until they found out that name was taken already. My suggestion for a name change was, duh, Skank Jr.
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Author: MrFab
Date: 02-14-12 22:20
I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
This Moment In Black History
Post Edited (02-15-12 19:25)
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Author: Delvin
Date: 02-15-12 10:10
> My suggestion for a name change was, duh, Skank Jr.
Or Skank III? That'd work both as a play on Hank's name, and on the fact that it's a trio.
I think the name Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. is funny, too. But then, my in-laws are all Nascar fans, and anything that gives me an opportunity to rib them a bit always is welcome to me.
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Author: MrFab
Date: 09-20-12 16:54
The something-the-something band name trend started recently, so now I have to update my Ultimate Super Cool Hip 'n Trendy Band Name to:
Robot The Bear
(or maybe 'Bear The Robot.')
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Author: Jermoe
Date: 09-20-12 20:59
I could've gone for The Wee Shared Milk, however. One little vowel can make a big difference.
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Author: totaji
Date: 09-20-12 21:57
God, The We shared HiC on Myspace was all the rage a few years ago. They did a killer split 7" with Minus the Bear.
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Author: dj45rpm
Date: 09-21-12 18:31
Hypnolovewheel.
Apparently they were pretty good (even Byron Coley gave them props in one of the TG guides), but the name induced images of 90s-trendies-wearing-postmodern-psych-threads (even if they predated that whole "scene").
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Author: STEVE
Date: 09-22-12 00:32
be you a monkey,squirrel bat or mutton bird, bands with insect handles ulimately rule. and that doesn't even count the SCORPIONS.
Post Edited (09-22-12 00:37)
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Author: Nile
Date: 09-22-12 02:11
STEVE wrote:
> be you a monkey,squirrel bat or mutton bird, bands with insect
> handles ulimately rule. and that doesn't even count the
> SCORPIONS.
Of course it doesn't count the Scorpions...scorpions are an entirely different family of arthropod from mere insects. Insects only have 6 legs. Scorpions have 8 legs--that's TWO MORE LEGS. Nigel Tufnel says that clearly makes them better.
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Author: zwirnm
Date: 09-23-12 21:16
New name idea, from repairing my dehumidifier today: The Fin Combs!
[look 'em up]
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Author: Heff
Date: 09-25-12 12:51
I'm a big fan of Hypnolovewheel. "Space Mountain" is a great album. I'm noncommittal of the band name.
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Author: madisdadi
Date: 09-26-12 11:27
actually had to go and ask the record store clerk for this one and was tossed out of the store
Post Edited (09-26-12 11:36)
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Author: MrFab
Date: 09-26-12 16:17
Cumstain.
Tho I do have to give 'em points for their album title: "Hurry Up And Kill Yourself You Scum Bag Trust Me Your Mother Won't Miss You".
They're on the same label as a band called The Vomettes. They should do shows with them, and Diarrhea Planet and Pissed Jeans. Maybe even throw an all bodily-fluid band name festival.
Post Edited (09-26-12 17:42)
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Author: rhettlawrence
Date: 09-27-12 12:36
Some of those dudes must have been reading that post I put on here a while back where I said that a metalhead guy I played music with 20 years ago wanted to name our band Shitstain Refraction. There's still time to go that extra mile, Shit Stains, and make the name change! I promise you Jim Miskell and I will bear no grudge. Indeed, we'd be honored!
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Author: MrFab
Date: 09-27-12 12:43
"Jimmy Shithead": A former member of Zoogz Rift & His Amazing Shitheads, perhaps?
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Author: Delvin
Date: 09-27-12 15:57
Wasn't Joey Shithead the leader of D.O.A.? A man ahead of his time, obviously.
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Author: MrFab
Date: 10-30-12 13:03
Quote:
War From A Harlots Mouth
Yeesh. Sean Lennon's Ghost Of A Saber-Tooth Tiger doesn't seem so bad now...
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Author: dj45rpm
Date: 10-30-12 19:22
The son of one of my mom's friends was in a band called:
Ultraspank
They actually got signed to a major and released 2 CDs, though neither one got anything close to a "push" from the label and ended up in the clearance bins fairly quickly.
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Author: MrFab
Date: 12-26-12 23:13
Doesn't get much funnier then this: 2012: The Year In Band Names
They're not all bad (tho most of 'em are) - I like 'Bananarchy,' and their skankin' banana logo.
The one that I found the most appalling?
Thus:Owls
I was so disturbed by the outrageous pretentiousness of this name I actually went on their site to check 'em out. So, in that sense, the name worked. Well done, Thus:Owls, tho I can't say that I care much for your brand of sensitive folkie stuff.
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Author: HollowbodyKay
Date: 12-31-12 08:26
Quote:
The one that I found the most appalling?
Thus:Owls
I was so disturbed by the outrageous pretentiousness of this name I actually went on their site to check 'em out.
Bad choice of monikers ... especially when (as far as I can tell)
Hence:Boobies was still available.
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Author: zwirnm
Date: 12-31-12 21:22
Among my very favorite travel photos: many, many blue footed booties in Galapagos. Band name or no.
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Author: Delvin
Date: 01-02-13 11:47
Just looked over the AVclub article that Fab posted the link to.
I kinda like "Age Sex Occupation." That's not a bad band name, IMO.
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Author: MrFab
Date: 05-07-13 15:29
- What Laura Says Thinks and Feels
- Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band
- I Have Two Wolves Inside of Me
- 12 Year Old Proud Parent
- Al Qaeda
- We Are Soldiers We Have Guns
- We All Have Hooks for Hands
- 100% Negro
- The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza
- These Hands Could Separate The Sky
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Author: nosepail
Date: 05-07-13 15:38
Of Monsters and Men is a pretty bad name. Loathsome band also. No good rock ever comes out of Iceland.
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Author: HollowbodyKay
Date: 05-08-13 14:12
Quote:
Of Monsters and Men is a pretty bad name. Loathsome band also.
They were on Saturday Night Live the other night. Umm. Saturday.
Very non-exciting folk strum duet. Female singer in obnoxious hat warbles something unintelligible ... pudgy, whiskered dude sings something sad but intelligible.
I switched the channel to watch a Cialis commercial or something. It might have been dog food. It doesn't matter.
...
I'm pining for the Björks ... and the Einar Örns.
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Author: Delvin
Date: 05-08-13 15:46
Ace Frehley said it succinctly in his memoir: "Want your band to be taken seriously? Don't choose a name that's a punchline."
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Author: erikalbany
Date: 05-08-13 16:55
I have to agree with Nose and Kay about Iceland... Saw that band on SNL and could have sworn they would be a Brooklyn band. Icelandic culture is like Scandinavian culture after a year of huffing model airplane glue. Tried to like Sigur Ros; didn't stick...
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Author: nosepail
Date: 05-08-13 17:16
I don't even mind the laconic moments in that stupid song of theirs. If they want to be quiet and moody like, say, The XX, God love 'em. It's that simulacrum of a "rousing" chorus, replete with stupid horns , and feigned-enthusiasm "heys", which really drives me up the wall. That's no more rock and roll than that gala at the Met is punk. That kind of Mumford and Sons inspired crap makes me yearn for Black 47. Iceland sucks. (Sorry Toland, I just don't know those bands you referenced.)
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Author: HollowbodyKay
Date: 05-18-13 16:09
Quote:
I have to agree with Nose and Kay about Iceland...
Dept of Clarification: My scorn was and is strictly reserved for Of Mice and M-- err ... Of Cabbages & Kin-- umm ... no ... that's not it ... what the hell were they called again? Of Monsters and Men? I think that was it.
In practically any other case I can think of, I like Icelandic bands just fine. I was a huge fan of The Sugarcubes (although they got steadily less interesting over time) and I really love everything I've heard by Sigur Ros. Bjork's solo career has been a bit too club-oriented for my tastes ... but she's still a compelling singer. Beats the snot out of Madonna any day of the week.
I just really dislike(d) OMAM. They feel like the sort of folk-rock band you'd get as a freebie with your Harry & David fruit basket. Mumford & Son are the same way. They both feel totally retail-oriented. I just want to punch each and every band member square in the face and send them packing.
But let's be clear about this: I love Iceland, OK?
.jpg)
In theory anyway. Never been there. What about y'all?
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Author: Delvin
Date: 05-28-13 12:42
Appearing July 16th in Seattle: Hookers Made Out of Cocaine.
Eeewww.
Hmmm, the same club is hosting Men Without Hats in August. Decisions, decisions ...
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Author: Stephen M.H. Braitman
Date: 05-31-13 22:17
One of the very worst names for a band that is actually pretty decent is... wait for it... Grown Up Avenger Stuff. Band is from South Carolina. Lead singer has too many tattoos for my taste, but she's got pipes.
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